Understanding the condition
What is sex and love addiction?
Sex and love addiction is the term many people use when sexual behaviour, or the pursuit of relationships and romance, has become hard to control and is causing harm. It covers two related patterns, which often appear together.
On the sexual side, clinicians usually assess it as compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, which the World Health Organization recognises in its International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as an impulse control disorder. In a nationally representative US survey of 2,325 adults aged 18 to 50, 8.6% reported clinically significant distress or difficulty linked to controlling their sexual urges and behaviour.
“Love addiction” is not a formal diagnosis. It describes a pattern in which the need for a relationship, or for the intensity of falling in love, takes over: moving quickly from one partner to the next, staying in relationships that cause harm, or being unable to let go when one ends. A 2025 review of 15 studies, with 3,628 participants, found these patterns closely linked to anxious attachment, the fear of being left or not being enough.
Both patterns can become a way of coping with loneliness, stress, low mood or past hurt. The relief is real but short-lived, and secrecy, shame and broken trust tend to follow.
A high sex drive, an affair or a painful break-up is not, on its own, an addiction. What matters is loss of control and real harm over time. A careful, non-judgemental assessment helps tell the two apart.
Recognising the signs
Signs of sex and love addiction
Recognising some of these signs in yourself or a loved one is not proof of an addiction.
A confidential conversation with a clinician can help you understand what you are experiencing, and what support, if any, would help.
- Sexual behaviour that takes up more time, money or energy than you intended
- Promising yourself you’ll stop or cut down, and finding it doesn’t last
- Living a double life: affairs, secret accounts or behaviour you hide from a partner
- Using sex, dating or romance to cope with stress, loneliness or low mood
- Taking risks with your health, safety, job or reputation
- Moving quickly from one relationship to the next, or feeling unable to be alone
- Staying in, or returning to, a relationship you know is harming you
- Feeling consumed by thoughts of a person, or by fantasy, long after contact has ended
- Carrying on despite the harm it is causing to your relationships, work or wellbeing
Sexual activity that has become repetitive and hard to control, with the urge returning more quickly and bringing less relief each time. This is assessed against the ICD-11 criteria for compulsive sexual behaviour disorder.
Repeated affairs or secret relationships, often kept separate from family and work, that someone wants to end but keeps returning to.
Dating and hook-up apps, casual encounters or paid sex that feel out of control, and may bring financial, health and legal risks alongside the harm to relationships.
A need for a relationship that feels impossible to manage without: moving quickly from one partner to the next, losing yourself in a partner, or staying with someone who is causing you harm.
Preoccupation with a person, past or present, or with fantasy and the anticipation of romance, that crowds out everyday life and real connection.
For many people, pornography use is part of the pattern. It is assessed and treated together with the other behaviours.
Sex and love addiction often goes together with heavy drinking, drug use, or other compulsive behaviours. Some people use stimulants such as methamphetamine to intensify sex, sometimes called chemsex. Treatment addresses them together.
Clinical Team
Individualised careby experienced hands
We are honoured to walk alongside families and individuals as they navigate recovery and rebuild meaningful, connected lives.
Safety first
Shame, healthand early support
Stopping does not cause physical withdrawal in the way alcohol can, but the first weeks can be hard. Many people feel restless, irritable or low, and ending contact with a partner or an affair can feel like grief. Shame is common, and it often keeps people from asking for help. A discovery, a break-up or the fear of exposure can also be a time of real crisis.
On admission, our team reviews your mental health, including mood and any thoughts of self-harm. We can also arrange a confidential sexual health check if you would like one. From the start, we help you plan practical changes: how devices, apps and accounts will be managed, what contact you will have with particular people, and how, and how much, to involve a partner or family member.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of ending their life, call 995 in an emergency, or the Samaritans of Singapore on 1767, at any time. For mental health support at any hour, call or message the national mindline on 1771. For confidential counselling on sexual behaviour, We Care Community Services can be reached on 3165 8017.
Treatment
Our approach to sex and love addiction treatment
Sex and love addiction is rarely only about sex or romance. It is often linked to loneliness, low mood, anxiety, ADHD, past trauma or early experiences of relationships. We treat the person as a whole, without judgement, and help you build relationships that feel safe and steady. We work with adults of all genders and sexual orientations.
Our team includes Dr. Guo Song, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, who has co-authored research on how clinicians in Singapore apply the ICD-11 criteria for compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, and Andy Leach, Intensive Outpatient Programme Lead, who holds a specialist diploma in working with compulsive sexual behaviour disorder and sex addiction.
Treatment begins with a 28-day residential stay at our restored heritage residence in Changi, followed by a 12-week intensive outpatient programme. This 16-week programme supports you through the months after residential care, when you are rebuilding routines, relationships and trust in everyday life.
A detailed psychiatric assessment, including screening for depression, anxiety, ADHD, trauma and suicide risk, and a careful diagnosis using recognised criteria.
One-to-one counselling, daily process groups and skills workshops, drawing on approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and motivational interviewing, to understand triggers, manage urges and reduce shame.
Therapy that looks at how you learned to seek closeness and comfort, and at any past trauma, so that the patterns behind the behaviour can change, not only the behaviour itself.
EEG neurofeedback, attention training, TMS (iTBS) and cognitive remediation, designed to strengthen attention, impulse control and self-regulation.
Personal training, mindfulness, sleep support and nutrition, helping you rebuild daily routines and find healthier ways to manage stress and loneliness.
Depression, anxiety, ADHD, trauma or another addiction are addressed together in one treatment plan. See co-occurring disorders.
Before you leave, we help you plan for dating, contact with past partners, apps and your phone, with boundaries that you, and if you wish your partner, agree on.
Before you leave, we coordinate with outpatient providers in Singapore or your home country, and connect you with peer recovery groups. The Winslow Recovery App supports you for a year after the programme.
For families
When a partner or family member is affected
Discovering a partner’s affairs, secret relationships or hidden sexual behaviour can bring shock, anger and a deep sense of betrayal. Many partners also find themselves questioning their own judgement and worth, and some are worried about their own health. These feelings are understandable, and you do not have to manage them alone.
We offer confidential guidance for families, including how to raise the subject of treatment with care and how to look after yourself while trust is rebuilt. Our team understands both Asian and Western family dynamics, and the particular sensitivities of high-profile families. During treatment, families take part through weekly therapist-led family groups and individual family therapy, in person or securely online.
Suitability
Who we are for
Residential and intensive outpatient treatment for adults seeking structured and discreet evidence-based care.
Our centre accommodates up to 26 residential clients at any one time.
Designed for individuals who are:
- Experiencing substance use and/or behavioural addictions, including co-occurring conditions
- Medically and psychiatrically stable for residential, non-hospital care
- Low to moderate risk to themselves or others
- Able to provide informed consent and communicate fluently in English
- Ready to engage actively in treatment and follow programme expectations
FAQ
Common questions
Answers to questions people often ask about sex and love addiction and treatment.
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Munidasa Winslow, Medical Director. Last reviewed November 2026.
The sexual side is. The World Health Organization recognises compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in ICD-11, as an impulse control disorder. Love addiction is not a formal diagnosis, but the patterns people describe are real, and the difficulties behind them, such as anxiety, low mood or past trauma, can be assessed and treated.
No. How often someone has sex, or wants to, is not the measure. The signs that matter are loss of control, repeated attempts to stop that don’t last, and carrying on despite harm, over six months or more. Feeling guilty because sex conflicts with your values is not, by itself, an addiction.
Many people feel that they are. Researchers describe a pattern in which the need for a relationship takes over, often linked to a deep fear of being alone or left. Whatever it is called, when it keeps causing harm it is worth talking to a clinician about.
Pornography is often part of the picture, but sex and love addiction usually involves other people too, through affairs, apps, casual encounters or relationships. Our pornography addiction page covers pornography on its own. Many clients have both, and we treat them together.
Start by looking after yourself: discovery is painful, and your feelings matter. When you are ready, our guide to starting the treatment conversation may help, and our team can advise you confidentially, even before your partner is ready to speak with us.
Not without your consent, except in the rare situations where the law requires us to share information. Before admission we explain exactly what is kept confidential and when. You decide whether, and how, a partner or family member takes part in treatment.
No. Goals are agreed with you. Some people choose a period without dating or sexual contact during treatment, to give themselves space. The aim is not to avoid intimacy, but to have relationships and a sex life that feel in your control and cause no harm.
Not everyone does. Residential care is often considered when attempts to stop haven’t held, when there are other mental health concerns, or when daily life makes it too easy to fall back into old patterns. Our pre-admission assessment looks at the right level of care. If The Winslow isn’t the right fit, we will tell you and help you find support that is.
The programme runs for 16 weeks: a 28-day residential stay followed by a 12-week intensive outpatient programme. Depending on clinical need and progress, residential extensions of one to four weeks are common.
Some private insurance policies may offer partial coverage. We can provide supporting documentation for claims on request. Please check with your insurer directly. See our fees and inclusions.
Yes. Treatment is delivered in English, and the programme includes visa support and airport transfers. Most nationalities can enter Singapore visa-free for 30 to 90 days. When you return home, we coordinate a handover to providers there so your care continues.
Speak with a clinician
If you’re considering treatment for yourself or someone you care about, a confidential conversation can help clarify whether The Winslow is the right fit.
Our team is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.